September 09, 2002~~4:47 p.m.
Excel-ent? I think not.
Sometimes, I get snobby and think, �I�m so glad I got two degrees from one of the top public universities in the nation so that I can aptly enter �1s� on a spreadsheet as a budding career.� But then I think, �Hey, at least I have a job.� But then I think, �But that�s no consolation, when I am WAY overqualified to be making copies and typing �1s� for days on end.� You see, I am the Excel queen here at e.SciEntOLOgy. You need a spreadsheet? I�m your gal. So word got out and my boss who works out of his home in Washington presents me with several spreadsheets comprised of information pertaining to all 50 states and various subject categories. Scattered about were �1s� galore. It was my job to take the hard copy and enter the data onto the soft copy. It took me several days, but I finished the job on time. I made such a good impression with my fast work, that last Thursday, my boss called me and said, �Beware. Part II will be arriving via FedEx sometime tomorrow. It is 4 feet long.� That�s 4 feet LONG, not WIDE. It is exactly 19 inches wide, if you must know. There are 17 sections of about 20 rows per section. I need a yardstick to track my progress. This one is harder to do than the last, because instead of simply having �1s� to enter, which I became an expert at doing whilst chatting on the phone, I have actual numbers and even some letters to enter, which all requires thought and concentration. I have been working for 5 straight hours on �The Tablecloth� and have only completed 3 sections. I am going to die here. I just know it.
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