October 03, 2002~~6:13 p.m.
Lounge of my Life
I finally bought a couch. It has been 4 long couchless months. See, I HAD a couch. I actually had 2 couches. They were both hand-me-downs. The first one was my parents� old couch that was super-comfy, but when I went to Doom for a year (aka Law School) I sent it to live with my sister at Chico State. I never saw hide nor hair of that couch again. The second one was a donation from my 85 year old grandfather. He had decided to redecorate his condo. So I got the �apartment sofa� from him. It was floral: mostly pink. It had a broken hide-a-bed in it (I had a �don�t ask, don�t tell� policy about the reason it was broken) and was heavier than an episode of �Six Feet Under.� The floral couch was the Most Uncomfortable Piece Of Furniture Ever and donated to Dianna countless sleepless nights. It was really too short to fit a grown person. And don�t even THINK about trying to snuggle with two people on that thing. There was not a snowball�s chance in Hades. During my months of unemployment, when I would sit on said couch, my ass would get numb from the hardness of the so-called cushion. It was just not a very good quality couch. When we moved out from LimpNoodle Hell, I was decidedly against having to move the couch. It was just too much of a hassle, and besides, it was high time I had my own couch. So Maria and I convinced the abusive black man in the ghetto apartments next door to take the couch. I assume it sat in their back parking lot for quite awhile. But no matter, because I was couch-free. When I would apologize to visitors and say �please excuse me, I have no couch� they would usually start scheming of whose nasty-ass old couch they could pawn off on me in my Time of Need. But I had it in my head that I was going to save up for a brand new couch of my very own. That was all fine and good until I learned it would take over a thousand dollars to purchase a new couch. So I began saving. My dad/sometime roommate, however could not take my couch-less digs. He and my mother promptly moved two swivel chairs down to Sacramento so he would have something to sit on the 2 nights a month that he comes to stay over. I can�t say I am sad to have had those chairs. I think the floor cushions would have gotten on my nerves after about 2 weeks. Yes, dear ones. The chairs have been a blessing, I must admit. I slowly saved up a decent amount of cash. Then, it happened. I saw The One in a picture in the Ethan Allen sale catalog. I knew I would love this couch forever. I was prepared to take my vows. I took my friend Anne with me to Ethan Allen to propose to my couch. I said, �Couch, I love you. I�ve loved you since the day I saw you in the catalog. When I saw your luscious cushions, I knew you were The One I�d been saving for. Will you let me buy you some cute accent pillows, put you in the center of my living room, lounge and watch Must See T.V. on you, spill crumbs on you, and lose my remote in you? I promise to clean you regularly, protect you from cabernet spills, honor you and keep my feet off of you, love you during good shows and bad, lay on you in my sicknesses and my health, for better coffee tables and worse all the days of the next 10 or so years of my life.� And the couch said yes. He will be arriving via cute delivery man in about a month.
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