August 29, 2002~~2:12 p.m.
Revelations and Sorority Girls
Yesterday I had two major music revelations. One was that the Dixie Chicks are the best thing to have ever happened to country music and their latest album �Home� that came out on Tuesday is SUCH a tribute to Bluegrass the very roots of country music that I am overjoyed. It is so nice that a group that is so non-mainstream in their genre choice is still so popular. I heard on the radio this morning that the taping of their performance for �The Early Show� yesterday had the biggest turnout of any performer all summer. Yay to the Flixie Flicks! You are my heroines! My other revelation had to do with my watching of �American Idol� last night. I�ve only watched the show once all summer, and wasn�t really that impressed by it. So, since then (it was only the second show) I�ve consistently felt left out of the �water cooler� chat (or, more pertinent to our office, the �over the cubicle wall chat�) every morning after AI is on because I don�t watch it and have somehow, instead, been sucked into watching Big Brother III thanks to Christa. So anyway, I was at my friend Veronica�s house last night and we were rehearsing our violin duets for the wedding we�re doing this Sunday, and she made me watch the episode that was on last night. And they were showcasing Kelly�s rise to stardom through AI and I heard her sing. And I no longer think I am anywhere close to hitting it big. I don�t know. Maybe it was that one night, singing to Patsy Cline in the confines of Rhonda Honda that made me think I had a chance�but then I heard Kelly. There really is no hope for me. I�m too old. I have hips. I have a brain and a college education. I was not a coal miner�s daughter and have never been on welfare. My dad�s a successful attorney with a Mercedes. He�s still married to my mother. I will NEVER be a star. I will learn to be content with getting requests at Karaoke and pretending to be Faith Hill when I see her on t.v., but I will know, later, that I am NOT Faith because my hair looks nothing like that, save that it�s kind of long and kind of blondish when I feel like having it that color. ~~~~~ Sorority Strife So onto something I CAN do. Criticize �Sorority Life.� I know I haven�t visited the topic of the show in quite some time, so this may be a bit disjointed in terms of episodes and when things aired. I would like to discuss first, the deal of the sorority formal. Right off the bat, I�d like to mention that my former roommate Masterbating Dave appeared on this episode as a date of one of the sisters. You can see him and his hi-lighted hair sitting at a table and later, dancing strangely to �Love Shack.� Sometimes, I see him dancing strangely in REAL life at �Faces� in midtown. But that is neither here nor there. Speaking of Sorority Strife Sightings, I saw one of the sisters, Rachel, at Bel Air Market the night the formal episode aired. She was with her boyfriend, a guy I recognized from UCD and all my years working at Student Programs. She was on her cell phone talking about how �you�ll see me dancing� assumedly referring to that night�s future episode. And see her I did. She looked really not cute in a creamy white dress with clips in the sides of her hair. I guess someone forgot to tell her that side clips weren�t exactly the �hottest� style for a night out in S.F. but whatever. She�s in a nerdy sorority, so you can�t exactly blame her. And given the fact that her sisters are dorky girls who actually CARE when someone tries to leave the dance, it isn�t exactly a surprise. So Candace and Amanda wore those stupid ass sunglasses that looked ridiculous (although, so, in my opinion, did their dresses, but whatever) to the dance. That was their first stupid move. I think the next stupid move was just the mere PRESENCE of Candace in this universe, but for that complaint, I�ll have to go to a higher power. Anyhoo, I don�t know WHY Candace was complaining about a $9 DOUBLE in San Francisco at the St. Francis. A nine dollar drink, especially for a double, isn�t half bad in the City. She made herself look totally stupid and then she bitched at the bartender for not giving her enough alcohol when the damn glass was 8/9 full. This is all happening at one of the oldest and fanciest hotels in San Francisco, mind you. At a venue that costs $35,000 (I know for a fact) at LEAST to have an event there. Um, yeah. Did Sigma have a little "help" with that from their friends at MTV? I think so. Especially judging form what the sorority itself could afford to stay in over night at that other janky hotel. Oh and also can I just say that National sororities NEVER have overnight formals. Oh. My. God. So then, the sisters were all pissed off that Jordan and Mara left the dance AND the hotel to stay elsewhere. Um, okay. Whatever. Like having them around was SO much more fun. Jordan looked like she walked through a window treatment in that dress, and Mara looked like a throwback to �I Love Lucy.� And then Mara says, �I had the time of my life� in referral to a strip club. Um, yeah. If THAT was the time of your life, I feel more sorry for you about the REST of your life than I do that you were stuck in a sub-par hotel room for 27 minutes earlier that day. Then there�s this whole issue of the girls all getting �talked to� every time the seemingly don�t follow the �rules.� I�d just like to say that in all my years of Delta Gamma-hood, I was never given a �talking to� by ANYONE. We had an internal system of handling girls who made fools of themselves (i.e. getting too drunk and falling out of the bus at formal and other such debauchery) but it was designed so that only certain, elected people handled these issues. Other than that, what you do is on your own conscience. And I just feel like these girls who ARE arguably disrespecting the sorority they CHOSE to try to join should just point-blank be asked if they just don�t want to be in the sorority anymore instead of being made to feel like children all the time. How hard would it be for anyone to simply say, �Amanda, if you don�t enjoy puff paint and glitter, what the hell do you think you�re doing here? What were you expecting? We are a group of GIRLS. GIRLY girls. Girly girls who are in a SORORITY. There will be cups with your name on them. There will be posters of candy that spell things. There will be balloons and sparkly tee shirts and late night binge-purge sessions and no pillow fights, despite the eager pleading of college men everywhere! So if you don�t like that plan, just bow out gracefully NOW and we promise not to have hard feelings.� It really would have solved a few tribulations. Favorite quote on the show so far: �I was sober for 4 days STRAIGHT last week!� --Candace (but of course) And also Jordan, everything is NOT about you.
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