August 27, 2002~~5:43 p.m.
Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard-On
There is a strong possibility that LimpNoodleSteve will turn me off from eating pasta forever. Well, at least there's a possibility that I will no longer be able to afford it. LimpNoodleSteve will NOT go away. You see, last week, on Friday, to be exact, I received in the mail a letter from "Marathon Services" collection agency regarding the $105.77 we now owe Whisler Land Company (that's including $1.04 for interest...yeah. Isn't that rich?!) for the "lino" mold. I briefly got into Fighting Lawyer Lauren mode and vowed not to let them get one red cent of my hard-earned money, but then reason prevailed. I realized that not only could both my and Maria's credit records be thrown into irretrievable ruin for a mere $50 apiece on the part of the collections agency (aside: I wonder if "Marathon Services" is short for "Marathon Blow Job Services for Gay Landlords in Sacramento California" but I could be wrong) but being sued and losing also negatively affects one's credit rating as well if we do not pay and he chooses to take us back to our old home, Sacramento Small Claims Court. I would someday like to buy a house so I would no longer have to rent from idiotic men and I don't think I would enjoy having LimpNoodle stand in my way every time I try to get a home loan. A seven year reminder of Limpy is definitely NOT in my best interest. So I made a call to the Marathon Services lady. She was eating when she answered the phone (no comment on WHAT she was eating...I just hope it wasn't Limpy). I had to repeat my name and why I was calling twice because "there was someone walking out the door when you called." Um, hello? Why is it so hard to have someone walk out the door and pick up the phone at the same time? Apparently walking and chewing gum also proves to be quite challenging for her. She told me that Maria and I could write our separate checks to Whisler and send them in this week with no mention of this small "bump" in the Whisler road to our credit agencies. She had a hard time comprehending that we would be paying in full, but with two checks (one from each of us) and not trying to pay $50 at a time twice during the month. I can't blame her. I suppose most people who call have trouble with the English language and probably don't call WANTING to pay the bill to begin with. That's likely the case when she talks to Limpy, anyway. So anyway, after I learned that the checks would be written directly to Whisler, I decided to definitely try my hand at a little "artwork" on my check. LimpNoodleSteve will be getting paid in full, including interest, sometime next week. In the notes portion of the check, I will be passing along an additional little gem. A big drawing of a middle finger.
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