July 18, 2002~~10:09 p.m.
Steve Spotting
Call me crazy. Maybe I�m hallucinating in fear of the images of Steve shaking his LimpNoodle at me much like I have been shaken at by others on the lovely beaches of Tahoe. Whatever my mental state, I cannot deny that there is a strong likelihood that LimpNoodleSteve drove by me last evening, as I left my apartment complex. I was pulling out of the driveway, and unmistakably glimpsed a man with thinning gray hair in a blue-green Subaru (does Limpy drive one? I have no idea�) craning his neck to stare and continuing to stare at me as he drove by. When I saw his face, I was overcome with the barely repressible urge to ram Rhonda into the back end of his wannabe SUV. To be fair, I am not positive it was Steve. The FagPosse website claims that Steve lives in midtown. If, in fact, he resides in Natomas, I will be PISSED. Oh and also, Limpy�s boss, Mark FagPosse (for which FagPosse Land Co. is named) has an alarming business card. We only gained this card when we had Mark FagPosse served with our lawsuit. I�m not sure how we acquired the card because Maria is out cavorting around the Western United States in glorious freedom from her last known months of glee before law school (aka Hell on Earth) begins, so I can�t ask her the details. All I know is that the card has Mark�s picture on it and is made out of that bendy plastic-y stuff. It doubles as a coupon card. You know, like those ones you can buy for $10 that get you 50 cents off at Blimpie sandwich shops (truth in advertising? I, for one, am too scared to find out) and other useless �deals� at places in which you�d never be caught dead. On the front of the card, it says, �for preferred customers.� Apparently, Maria and I were not deemed popular enough by the prom drag queens to have been offered this money-saver. Blast Mark and blast his bitch Limpy! **** Thought for the day: Celine Dion: Miracle of modern medicine, hair highlighting techniques, and orthodonture. **** Sorority Strife Sigh. Where do I begin? I�m seriously considering unveiling ringoffire to the message board people at mtv.com just so they can come here and read the Truth about the whole mess. Seriously. I am just spent trying to explain how so NOT real this whole deal is. And has anyone else noticed (not surprisingly) that the whole damn show is just about these stupid, curly haired girls who make it look like UCD isn�t one of the top 10 ranked public schools because they are all dumbasses who say things like �um, uh uh uh uh school might get in the way of my partying! Ahaahaaahaahagigglegigglegigglegiggleletmyblondecurlsbouncenowheeheehee� instead of what it CLAIMS to be about, which is sorority-hood? Okay. Just checking. So for the record, maybe cultural sororities like Lambda Sigma Gamma (Latina sorority) or Alpha Kappa Delta Phi�s (Asian) or the black sororities have that whole �points system� thing going on, but since MTV has hardly tapped into the cultural side of things in this case and appears to be trying to pass Sigma off as an average sorority it appears that they are trying to make it look like all national sororities have this points thing as a requirement to actually �make it� into the group at the end of the quarter. Well folks, it�s not true. In National SororityLand, when you get a bid on bid night (the last night of recruitment) you are pretty much guaranteed a spot in the house, as long as you yourself do not take yourself out of the running. And this whole thing about getting points by going to sorority events (and, by the way, where in the blazes ARE the sorority events?) and then getting them taken away by �bad� behavior deemed so by people your own age and with no authority is just a pile of dog poo. How lame is that?! To be quite honest, if I were a high school girl watching this appalling show of peer parenting, pettiness, jealousy, drama and exclusiveness, I would NEVER in a million years join a sorority. Now, I understand that the sisters of Sigma are in a unique position with the cameras rolling and all, and their reputation, both on campus and nationwide, is at stake. But then, they did agree to have the cameras follow these girls around. Girls they DON�T know and who have no vested stake in how the sorority looks in the end. If I were a founding member of Sigma, I�d have said, �Hell yeah we can be exclusive this quarter if these girls are going to be representing me and my life and my hard work and sweat and tears building this group! Hell yeah they might be offended by getting ousted for not being Jewish! Hell yeah they can come back next quarter when there aren�t cameras around if they still show interest in us!� That�s what I�d have done. And also, for the record, real sororities don�t get pissed off at you when you party at a BAR on your 21st birthday, or WORSE, at a PARTY at your OWN HOUSE, and real sororities don�t hate you because you�re beautiful. Oh, and nice of MTV to vilify the fat girl. This show blows. I shall never miss an episode.
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