2002-01-15~~9:23 p.m.
Bitch Better Get Some Money: Part Deux
Sorry to leave you hanging in the last entry, but I really had to go. I THOUGHT I'd have time to write everything, but I was sadly mistaken. So the Mullet on Oprah. She was the wife of a guy featured on a past show who had narrowly escaped the World Trade Center Tower II before it collapsed. If I didn't know better, I'd have definitely pegged her as a lesband, but alas. She was apparently a hetero. But anyway, I'll try to explain the Shiniest Mullet I've Ever Seen, but Lord knows, it is unlikely I will do it significant justice. It was seriously So So So So Shiny. Chestnut brown, and the Lo part seemed to sprout out of the Sho part which was a virtual MUSHROOM atop her head. It was as if she had on a "Sho" hat over her "Lo" hair. The long part was probably about 8 inches long and it had a hot dog roll at the ends. The top was sort of fluffy yet smoothly feathered. A nice combination, to be sure, yet married to a man. The only possible explanation: the Mullet must reside in Jersey. ~~~~~~ Do you think it coincidence that they have played the entire season of Real World New Orleans about 30 times this weekend in preparation for the new season (starting tonight!!)? I think not. It's only the best cast so far. I love RWNO. They are the best. And did I tell you that Melissa from New Orleans wrote me an email to me once? She did. It was in regard to TLC. I think we are kindred spirits. ~~~~~~ There is this hilarious local commercial on t.v. here for some company called "American Mortgage." Their theme song is a take on the Lenny Kravitz (I think) song entitled "American Woman" (I think...but the American Mortgage song is overtaking my song recognition syntax connections in my brain at the moment). It is so irritating. The commercial features this blonde, shaggy haired woman talking into her phone saying "My bank account is overdrawn, I have liens, judgments, can't verify my income and am on welfare...can I get a home loan??!!" And of course, the American Mortgage guy goes, "Of course!" That's the spirit. ...And I'm proud to be an Americaaaan! Where at least I can get housing for freeeee.... ~~~~~ Okay. It is now time for me to go. I have my nails to do. I seriously look like white trash right now. This needs to be remedied. Oh, but before I go, I shall quote my friend Bevin from the note she left me a few weeks ago following the discovery of Gay Ned and Big Gay Dick and their gay-ness. Because Bevin's just funny and so is this. And I like to leave on a good laugh... "One little fag in a pastel pink pantsuit, Yodellayeeyodellayeeyodellayheehoo, One other fag with a family of dogs, Yodellayeeyodellayeeyodelloooooo." Egads, my life.
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