2002-01-15~~5:29 p.m.
Bitch Better Get Some Money
Several things continue to slip my mind when I write my diary entries and then annoyingly pop up in my consciousness again later. And I say to myself, "Dammit, self! You forgot to write about that one thing..." So here's to hoping I can remember them all here. Firstly, I have a new love. It is called "Bitch" magazine. It is something Maria has been talking about for years and I've even skimmed a few copies hither and tither, but never, before last night, did I actually READ an issue. But boy howdy, when I DID, let me tell you. The magazine is actually entitled "Bitch: Feminist Response to Pop Culture" and is so right up my alley! In one issue, they discussed TLC Daytime, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Friends, and something about organic tampons that grossed me out/ cracked me up. I am so in love. I told Maria that she and I need to get subscriptions so they can afford to hire Dianna to write for them. And I can do "research" for future articles by watching movies and t.v. It would be the perfect job. Also, the articles are just plain funny as hell. Secondly, what the hell is it doing being all freakin' cold outside? And why, pray tell, must our hot water run out after 10 minutes? It is virtually impossible to take a full shower right after someone else takes a shower in our apartment. It is lucky that I don't have to get in the shower until a full 1/2 hour after Maria, because this allows me just enough hot water to shave or to exfoliate, but not both in one fell swoop. But if I dare to step foot in the shower before that half hour has exhausted, I will be a cold little turkey, let me tell you. Old Man Winter...Bah! Thirdly, why in the hell is car insurance so gosh darned expensive? Just a thought. Fourthly, I am attempting an experiment to see how long I can live "off the land" so to speak...although in this case, it's just "living off my cupboard." Since I have no money, I am unable to go grocery shopping. Thus, I vow to eat every single thing possible from now until I have exhausted the edible possibilities, canned or otherwise, on my food shelf/fridge. My macaroni and cheese is already gone and so are most of the fresh vegetables. I will keep you posted on the creative meals I concoct in an attempt to save money. This should be really fun. I am really looking forward to the eventual dinner of canned beets and soybeans.... Blast unemployment and blast George W.! Fifthly, I forgot to mention in my Un-Americanesque blasting of the national anthem on country music radio that I am also kind of pretty much over the whole "flag from the daily paper in the window thing" in both home and vehicle windows. Please. Just go out and purchase a flag. For the love of God. And also, since this is along the same lines, can I just issue a "diaryland guffaw" (that's just when I can't express verbally via the internet how funny I think something is, so when I say "diaryland guffaw" you just have to imagine me rolling on the floor in uncontrolable laughter) in regard to the bumper sticker of the flag and the statement "These colors don't run." Hi-Larious. Sixthly, very strange Mullet on Oprah today. But I'll have to get back to you on that one because I have a dinner date and still have to put on my post-modern veil. C-Ya!
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