2002-01-07~~4:12 p.m.
Permanently Puzzled? Let's Hope Not.
I've only been out of school approximately 8 months and already, I think my brain is turning into a pile of shit--one which will not likely come out smelling like a rose anytime soon. It is a sad sad commentary on the working world. Or maybe just a sad sad commentary on MY world. Whatever. See here's the issue. When I was at college, I used to do the Aggie Crossword faithfully EVERY day, usually in class, of course. It all began just because EVERYONE does the crossword and it's also very easily torn out of the upper left corner on page two of the paper. All you have to do is walk by a stack of Aggies and tear out the top right corner and you can be on your way. The Aggie staff usually was smart and only put a huge picture of something in that spot, so just in case you ended up with the very last issue on the newsstand that had already been attacked by a bored student hoping to stave off an in-class nap, you could still read the "news" of the day in Aggieland, i.e. who got arrested for snoring and causing noise pollution in Davis of late. And of course, sometimes there were those days when you were already in class, and then it hit: you did not have the crossword. So you slyly look under all the desks and on the floor for a forgotten "Aggie" to snag and fill the next hour and a half. And sometimes you got REALLY lucky. And sometimes you just ended up with a lot of daisies doodled in your notebook. So anyway, I got really good at the crosswords. And I knew that in doing the crosswords, I was exercising my mind. You've surely heard about the elderly who do the NY Times crossword every day and how much more mentally sharp they are than their average peers. Well, I figured that if I were going to tune out Prof Motley, it may as well be for a good reason (not that you'd ever need a good reason to tune that guy out...but anyway): to exercise my mind. And believe you me, mind exercise is one thing that cannot be accomplished by listening to Prof Motley in lieu of the crossword, rest assured. Then, last year, while trying to avoid reading casebooks, I started watching Jeopardy! faithfully at 7:30 every night with my roommate Adam. And I would kick ass nightly! Because, I think, I was so good at puzzles and thinking fast, and also, Jeopardy!'s questions are often just skillfully hidden clues to the answer, like a lot of crossword clues. You just have to pay attention and think fast to make Jeopardy!'s writers work for you. So I discovered that in knowing all the random crap I know, having an idiot for a roommate and having done the Aggie Crossword for the prior 4 years straight, I could be an At Home Jeopardy! Champ myself! And I was! But something is troubling me now. I was just forwarded a puzzle of sorts by my co-worker and I canNOT for the life of me, get my mind to think in the way necessary to figure out this damn thing! It is so sad. Sad sad sad. I'm going to print it out, take it home, and figure it out. And as God as my witness, I'll never be stupid again! I blame TLC daytime for all the hourse I've let my mind go. And of course, George W. for lowering the national standard of aptitude to run the Most Powerful Nation in the World. We all can strive for less thanks to him. And as if you needed MORE proof: "Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes!" hmm. Apparently, even if he dies, we are screwed. I just wanted to throw that in. I like a chance to ridicule the Prez. after all. But anyway. I'm really going to get on that puzzle. Right after I go see "The Royal Tenenbaums."
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