2001-12-03~~3:49 p.m.
Real Wet
So I tried out for Real World Las Vegas this past weekend. Yes I did. It was an open casting call in Berkeley and I conned Rebecca and her friend into going with me. We stood in the rain for over 4 hours waiting for our rise to stardom. It was an interesting experience, to say the least, but somewhat disenchanting, as well. I was expecting a one on one interview with a casting director, but that was hardly to be the case. First, we arrived in Berkeley on Saturday morning at about 9 a.m. The call was supposed to begin at 10. By 9, the line was 3-4 blocks long. I luckily had planned for the rain and cold, but even so, my hair mananged to turn into some wet hairpray, sticky kind of glue-ish substance by noon, which severely limited my chances for getting "discovered" as the next Estee Lauder spokesperson, or, in this case, a RW castmember. Not to worry though, because I brought the best snapshot of myself I could find. I should've known that some die-hards would bring their acting/modeling headshots, but whatever. We stood in line with this psycho from S.F., Traci, and this other guy Lesh (or something) from NYC who was on his way to L.A. to try out for "The Lion King" and who was half black and had beautiful green eyes (and a headshot). We all chatted merrily and even convinced Sonja and Rebecca to stay in the rain and keep waiting because we kept being "almost there" whenever one or the other would try to chicken out and go home. FINALLY, we ended up under the local radio station tents almost to the door of the Real World mecca "La Val's Pizza". There, we were handed a one-page application and were herded around and yelled at by a rent-a-cop who had no heart or patience for the fact that we were drenched and he was perfectly dry. Bastard. But my mood could not be diminished despite this small wrinkle in the day. We were then allowed to cross the threshhold of the pizza parlor and were yelled at to sit down immediately. From there, we were put in a in a line according to our numbers at the top of our applications. Then it was the moment of truth. 15 or so of us were put around a table with a "mediator" from MTV. We were very lucky to get to have Yes from Road Rules Semester at Sea as our mediator. And I even got to sit by him when Mean Traci took my first choice seat next to Rebecca. But whatever. Yes then explains that we are going to have 10 minutes to answer a couple of questions. Yes then proceeds to ask the most idiotic, high school questions ever. First, when and how did you lose your virginity, next, what was your most embarrassing moment, and lastly, a show of hands for those who masterbate. I KID YOU NOT. I was the first to answer the questions because I was sitting right next to Yes. I tried to be as humorous but succinct as possible in discussing events from 6 YEARS AGO, but other people were not so considerate of the 10 minute time limit. We got to hear about one shy little Asian girl who was still a virgin (but who, we later found out, masterbates) Lesh, who fooled around with a girl he thought was a cousin during Elementary school until he had "real" sex on top of a mall in Jr. High, one guy who claimed to be a gay virgin but whose parents didn't know it yet (this provoked a LONG therapy session advising him on coming out to his family) and then later, this girl who pooed her pants in a Wal-Mart and another who passed gas and sneezed at the same time during a test in school. Then, we were done. "Hmm." I thought to myself. I just talked a LOT about High school. How did that happen? I'm almost 24! I'm supposed to sell myself to MTV as the "mature" one they need on their show. But it was not to be. Rebecca and Lesh were asked to fill out a 16 page questionnaire including such information as their opinions on gun control and abortion. The rest of us were told that in 2-3 weeks, we would hear from MTV either with a "Please talk to us again" or a "Sorry, you are not photogenic enough for our show." So the two of us left and Rebecca took another 4 1/2 hours to finish the application, photocopy her driver's license and take a picture with Yes (who was, by the way, VERY gorgeous in person if I do say so myself). So dear ones, I do not believe I will be made famous by MTV via The Real World. We will have to figure out something else. If any of you have any suggestions on how I can become famous, please leave me a note in my "notes" section....which you can access through my profile. :) I am now going to call J. Crew to see if they need my average services this evening. Good day.
|
