2001-11-29~~11:23 p.m.
I Need a Worm
Where is a tapeworm when you need one? Everybody in the world is a size 2 or a 4. Therefore, I hate everybody in the world. Luckily, I do not, therefore, hate myself, because I am neither a size 2 nor a 4. Working at Gay Crew, I get to handle all these "mini" clothes items. I even got to call around the State of California in search of this "super cute denim skirt" in a size 4. All the stores were out of that exact size. Why? Because everybody in the world is a size 4 and have all purchased this skirt already. Then, this tall thin girl returned a miniskirt because when she got it home, it "gaped at the sides because my waist and my butt are not proportionate". What size do you think was "too big" for her? Oh. Right. A size 2. Um, excuse me while I turn bulemic all over this vintage denim. Would you like me to credit your Visa with that? And you may all be thinking, "Lauren, you too are tall and thin so don't fret". Yes my friends, I am tall, but thin, no. And I too, experience the dilemma StickGirl was having with the whole disproportionate thing, however, I experience it in a world four to five sizes larger. Good thing I very rarely have time to eat at Gay Crew. Maybe I'll get paid to slim down. Ha! Size 2. As if. I think I was a size 2 when I was a fetus.
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