December 18, 2002~~5:22 p.m.
A Very Lean Christmas to Be Had By All
So none of my friends are getting Christmas presents this year, and, quite frankly, I�m not sure Omar will be receiving anything either. I have warned most of them already, but I feel the need to validate my decision in writing�purely for psychological purposes. If it weren�t for The Man who charged me $250 for a routine lab test for STD�s at my last gynecologist appointment and also for the $50 that was taken out of my paycheck (you already heard about that), I might be able to swing a gift or two. But now that I�m putting a moratorium on using my credit card whenever applicable, I am refusing to buy into the whole �giving� thing and well, everyone will just have to be satisfied with a lovely greeting card with an even lovelier sentiment written inside. Of course, since I could only afford one box of cards, only 16 or so close friends and family will be receiving even the cards, but whatever. That is neither here nor there. I did manage to get my immediate family each a gift before the bank account ran dry. That was truly a blessing. I�m not sure what my dad would do without the radio that attaches to your bike handles that he is scheduled to receive. And my mother not don yet ANOTHER pair of new pajamas this season? Blasphemy! The thing with Omar is, that I�m not being selfish or anything. I routinely pay for his $30 1 minute collect calls from Camp Pendleton with nary a complaint. I also fill up my car with gasoline and allow him to drive it all over creation when he comes to visit. I have even been known to go to the grocery store and purchase things not known to frequent my refrigerator like milk and chicken solely in anticipation of his visit. So it�s not like I�m a cheapskate or anything. The thing is, that his birthday is January 13. So I either have to be really creative twice in less than 3 weeks, or go cheap on both gifts, or just lump them into one big gift next month, after my next paycheck comes through. I think he�ll understand. Maybe I�ll still get him something small or make him a loaf of banana bread and wrap it up really nicely. I feel badly that here I am, with a nice job and a new couch on the way, and I can�t seem to scrape together a few measly bucks to purchase a few small gifts for my friends. But here�s the thing. I could keep each gift to a $10 maximum and end up spending $150 on a bunch of crap they all will say they like but won�t use or will throw away on contact with their front doorsteps. It�s just not worth it. What else can you use $150 for? Why, a pair of boots! Or two pairs of pants! Three pairs of jeans! One month of car insurance! One and a half (and sometimes 2) months of groceries! 3 months of shitty-ass non-digital ghetto cable! I mean, faced with those alternatives, what choice do I have, really?
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