February 25, 2002~~10:30 a.m.
Milton's DCT
It has been established that our apartment is Milton The Plumber's Dream Come True. We were recounting the abnormally high instances where we have had problems with our plumbing fixtures over the last six months, since I moved in shortly before the September 11 disaster. The first was the bathroom sink faucet. It was one of those pull faucets but it was hanging by a thread and even came off in one's hand sometimes if one was lucky. And it was either REALLY ON or really not. No in between, and this caused several crotch splashes making one look like one didn't actually MAKE IT to the bathroom to begin with. We had that faucet replaced. Then there was the toilet that ran all day and all night. Jan only had that fixed because it affected HER water bill. Otherwise, you can rest assured, we'd still be dozing to the gentle murmur of the toilet, every night, lulling us to dream with the angels. Next, there was the garbage disposal that didn't work all summer. Maria was scared to call Jan lest she discover that Maria was roommate-less. An unnecessary worry, after all, but you do strange things when you are impoverished. Then there was the leaky sink, which I described in this forum. You can read all about it. Then there was our first meeting with Milton, brought on by yet ANOTHER tantrum from the garbage disposal. Milton re-taught us how important it is to run water when using the disposal. I taught Milton how important it is to launder your sweatband occasionally. I think we're now on the same page. Then, of course, there was the hot water heater. Now that's solved, and we still have a shower faucet that runs hot water when turned to cold, and vice versa, as well as the Loudest Dishwasher On The Face Of God's Green Earth. If Milton's dreams keep coming true, we should be calling him in approximately 4 days. Milton's DCT is our WN (worst nightmare). ~~~~~ I forgot how wonderful Spring is. Except I'm sure my glee will be short-lived since I have terrible allergies in the springtime. But whatever. For now, I wore my first tank top of the season whilst running at McKinley park, where I saw many youngsters on their razor scooters and a dead squirrel. Maria and I also stopped traffic later in the day when two thugs saw us walking out of the Mexican restaurant with our burritos. They were in a Lexus and had to be honked on by the guy in a Taurus behind them. They were hanging out of the windows shouting something unintelligible at us in Ebonics and waving silver cell phones over their corn-rowed heads. It was a sight. It was actually sort of scary. That was after we were verbally accosted at the mall by two other guys in a less desirable ride, right as we were walking past "Catherine's Plus-Sizes." What is it about gross men that gives them the confidence to shout lewd comments at women walking by a storefront of wooden jewelry? ~~~~~ So Maria and I have crafted a "shit list" out of a poster-sized piece of cardboard. It hangs proudly on our wall right next to the television. Peculiarly, only men adorn the list. Oh, and the USMC is #5. But that counts as The Man almost undeniably, even though it is an entity in reality. Be nice, or you might end up on our shit list, like LimpNoodleSteve, who gets to be #1. #3 is this other guy Steve, (what is it with Steves? I swear...) who emailed me from Primerica Financial to try to set up a job interview with me last week. Maybe I should preface the story... So there's this thing at UC Davis for people trying to use their degree from said school to begin a career. The Internship and Career Center on campus acts like it tries really hard to get you employed, but really, it's a lot of hooey, in my unemployed and humble opinion. So they've set up this completely non-user-friendly thing called "AggieTraks" for you to post your resume on and hope that an employer will match your wants and desires in a job and you will match their wants and desires in an employee and you will get a little email telling you to go check out their business. So you go check out their business and then decide if you are interested in getting scheduled for an on-campus interview if they should decide they do, in fact, want you. So I did this with Primerica Financial. I don't even know who they are, or what the job is, but I clicked on "schedule me for an interview" and then never heard a word. Mind you, the day they will be on campus is tomorrow, and last Friday, I get this totally impersonal one-liner email from "Steve" that says, "There are a few slots available if you would like to come interview next Tuesday. Thanks, Steve." Read: "We didn't fill up all our interview spots with people that we REALLY want to hire, so we'll humor you and let you come kiss our asses on Tuesday if you want to think we would really hire you and it's worth your time. Thanks, Steve." I read between Steve's blind carbon copied line and promptly replied (because I'd had it with assholes named Steve), "Dear Steve, How probable is it based upon my qualifications on the resume you have of mine, that I would be given a job offer upon meeting and interviewing with you and your company? If probable, I would like to meet with you between 1 and 3:30 on Tuesday. If not probable, I will have to politely decline your offer for an interview at this time. Thanks, Lauren." I haven't heard back from Steve yet. I think that answers my question, pretty much. ~~~~ I have a promising meeting/interview with a girl named Heather on Tuesday afternoon (another reason I didn't care to haul ass over to Davis after working at Gay Crew from 7 a.m. to noon only to have to pay $4 for parking to interview with TooCoolToKnowYourNameSteve) in Roseville for a temp agency that comes highly recommended. I feel a career coming on! I have a feeling that Heather will be changing my life soon. No more of this Steve shit.
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