June 12, 2002~~9:43 p.m.
LimpyKins Tries Out His Viagra, Only to Be Sorely Disappointed
Limpy sent a check for $434 and no cents. He is going down. And not the way he prefers. We did not receive any receipts for services rendered the apartment as promised by both LimpNoodle and the other FagPosse Land Company employee who took it upon himself to eavesdrop on our �conversation� the day we had to step foot in the FagPosse compound to fight for our money. We were told several times that FagPosse Land Co. doesn�t make money off our move-out, that the only people who do are the repairmen and cleaning companies. But how, oh how, does one explain no receipts and only whole numbered charges? I don�t think I have ever had a bill come in the amount of an even number, such as $100, or $60, or $80, or $30. Have you? It is quite coincidental, then, that FagPosse had not one, not two, not three but FOUR charges exactly like these for cleaning and repairs on our apartment. Omar said that maybe, just maybe, FagPosse had an internal maintenance service. And instead of hiring out for these tasks, they just estimate what market price might be and then apply it against our deposit. But then why, oh why did Limpy tell me and Maria that he didn�t make money on our move-out and that he would give us copies of the receipts proving it? Oh Limpy. You have fallen into a pile of shit. And if I have anything to say about it, you will NOT go by the way of Carson Daly... As God as my witness, you will NOT come out smelling like a big gay rose! I have written yet another letter to FagPosse Land Co. It will arrive by facsimile Friday afternoon. We have begun research via Westlaw, Nolo.com and pulling from the dusty file cabinets of my mind, my 1 year of law school studies. We are prepared to look at LimpNoodle across a crowded courtroom full of our closest friends and allies (okay, so maybe Dianna will be the only one to show up for moral support. Whatever.) and say to Steve, �you�ve fucked with the wrong tenants.� Stay tuned�
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